Your life literally in her hands night and day for years and years, through various levels of sleep deprivation, sickness, life cave-in carnage and catastrophe (emotional and/or physical)..; steer that boat.. steer that boat.. steer that boat.. ad infinitum. Only it isn't ad infinitum. One day, from a seemingly endless round of days, the hands-on primary caregiver role begins to morph, faster and faster until, boom, it's over. And then there's the rest of our lives.
Biology of Belief author Bruce Lipton points out that our developing brain's default is Theta frequency, which essentially has us in a state of hypnosis in our formative years. It's worth recognizing that not only was our subconscious forged in that early childhood foundry, 'the mother' too is acting from the belief structure of the familial milieu that shaped her.
We come to wonder just how much parenting has been by volition.
One young lama, Drubwang Tsoknyi Rinpoche, adjusting from Himalayan Culture to the USA, suddenly speaks to the Western cultural norm he has observed of anger toward mother (or father or both). It's astonishing to him. A real conversation ensues; "why we hate our parents"...
Alfred Graham Burgess, the chief architect of the Hampton Court Palace sacred geometry gardens and author of 'Why is the letter A at the beginning of the alphabet?' will tell you "In Mum we have palindromic consolation. Mom's good too...; M is to do with nurturing not curating. With nurturing you do it without knowing the eventual outcome."
Only one letter difference between Mother and Bother; it's a heck of a dance.
Ultimately it becomes our job to bring awareness to that which was of necessity invisible to us as a child and, mostly invisible to our parents besides. Whether it be how we were held in ways that served us (we appreciate by naming) or, for un-threading and releasing that which does not serve. I introduced a form of 'cutting the ties that bind' exercise with my pre-natal hatha yoga students; mother & father-to-be. We recognize and discharge/release dynamics that have outlived their usefulness and we consciously pull through for the incoming generation what our parents brought to us that was enriching and nurturing of human potential.
All grist for the mill in this continuum conscious evolution of the species. Paying attention, setting intention, gradually gradually we, as men and women in this Age, get to hone our presence of mind with children in our sphere, as well as learn to better 'Mother' ourselves, applying the self-same practice/presence of heart-mind to both. We won't get it right all the time (inadvertent parenting) but we're on to it.. and we are encouraged by every little triumph of life-love
Love is evolving
- develop gradually